Originally published on Dr. Z's Two Cents, October 26, 2025.
Greetings, once again, Dear Readers!
I appreciate your patience for part 2. Not that any of you had an iota of influence over me and my brain getting re-attuned to life's collective spooky seasons; let alone developing the follow up post that I promised to deliver what seems like eons ago... when there were more daylight hours and therefore, additional energetic support available via the sun (in theory).
It is completely beside the point that I do (and have done) most of my best creative work well into the night... beyond my academic career, all times of the year.
*enter wink and finger guns here*
I'll go back to a couple sentences before I teased your brains into waiting mode for part 2 of my thoughts on spooky seasons. Yes, the previous reference to 'brains' is my slightest of nods to Halloween.
Real life in 2025 is scary enough without any of the scary sh!t that often accompanies this time of year. *womp, womp*
#UnpopularOpinion
#PineappleBelongsOnPizza
#AddItToTheUnpopularOpinionsList
When light pierces darkness, the illusions of fear that were hidden and thriving, separate at lightening speed, scattering into oblivion.
Light begets creation; it makes space for something new.
One of the hardest things for me to remember about endings, is that each and every ending is followed by infinite opportunities to choose a new beginning, especially during our spookiest life seasons.
I have been sitting with and learning to (hesitatingly) embrace the uncertainty that comes with endings, before tenuously, perhaps even with some cautious optimism, stepping into the space of new beginnings.
Holding proverbial space for a collision of realities past & present (with a sprinkle of future panic) simultaneously is...complex. It comes with many caveats depending on one's subjective experience and present emotional state.
The combination of both factors seems to be, for many of us, at risk of surpassing our capacity to cope with life's stressors within reason.
As the fictitious & infamous (problematic) Dr. Ross Gellar said in season 9 of Friends, in a high-pitched & squeaky voice, "I'm FINE!!!"
#RossWasInFactNotFine
#ManyOfUsAreNotFineRightNow
#MyselfIncluded
As the weather outside finally matches the season, a special shoutout to those of us torn between #HoodieSeason and #FreeToesAllYear, in these very trying times, collectively and individually.
What happens when we humans are rapidly approaching our ability to reasonably cope with life's ongoing stressors?
In professional settings, it is known as burnout.
According to Dr. Rachel, a more relatable descriptor of this same phenomenon is feeling crispy. Which is a great quality in bacon (if you're into that sort of thing), not so much as far as attaining and maintaining optimal levels of functioning in all areas of life.
So, what can we do when we're feeling crispy?
Navigating feelings of burnout and/or crispiness can feel particularly daunting, especially if the topic of burnout, otherwise known as ongoing exposure to prolonged stress, is a relatively new-to-you concept.
To round out my two-part-two-cents on spooky seasons, I will (re) introduce some strategies to incorporate into your own self-care repertoires.
A few anchors to help you learn to accept, and perhaps one day (in a galaxy far, far away) to embrace life's uncertainties with less stress and the expectation of more fulfilling experiences.
First, let's talk about rest.
Did you know that rest and the act of resting is a non-negotiable condition of participation in the human experience? Think about it, if pre-historic people never took proper time to rest... or work together, none of us would be here. Humans 1000% would have gone extinct long, long ago.
All of us would have either been taken out by external circumstances (think T-Rex & Godzilla attacks, volcanic eruptions, and way more activity from the Bermuda Triangle) or at the hands of ourselves due to the adverse physiological effects a lack of proper rest has on our ability to survive as a species.
Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to actively create space in your schedule for rest. Daily. (I know...) The kind of rest with zero amount of productivity involved. Only sleep and whimsy are allowed during restful periods. And so it is.
Second; a quick reminder that practicing mindfulness (paying attention to your immediate surroundings right now-right now), being grateful for what is, and choosing to be intentional in our everyday encounters with ourselves and others, does wonders with making space for a fresh perspective on facing stressors and uncertainty.
Lastly (for now), let's talk about setting up and actively maintaining reasonable expectations, of ourselves and others.
When we face consecutive and/or significant life changes concurrently, it can manufacture a heightened sense of urgency to have our lives sorted out yesterday, last week, or even a decade or more ago.
Whether you are in the aftermath of and/or facing the loss of a loved one, navigating unexpected health issues, unfathomable family dynamics, financial troubles, (plus any number of other relatable #AdultingStressors), along with escalated economic, political and social uncertainty, living life today IS panic inducing.
That being said, instead of rushing into what feels safest and most alluring in the moment, it is of equal importance to give yourself a lovingly stern directive to slow down, as my father once shouted at a car speeding down a residential street as we were crossing it when I was but a child.
Take a breath or two. Perhaps several calming breaths. Shallow breathing doesn't count. Try it again with compassion. Take as long as you need to come back into your body and the present moment, as often as you need it, to transition your brain out of fight-or-flight mode.
It would also probably (most certainly) behoove us to move our bodies more to help us dispel the energy created by that sense of urgency to zoom headfirst into impulsive decisions.
Various types of uninhibited decision-making may very well come with real life consequences, in the form of boundaries, including loss of access to nouns (people, places and things), among other social maladies, from our external environments.
Instead of running through your reality internally, take the time to externalize it while you're thinking about it (write about it, talk about it out loud to yourself or a trusted source, create something tangible out of your thoughts) give it somewhere to exist outside of your brain.
Practice separating yourself from your situation, to which each of us is most certainly biased, in order to be able to allow for some internal (and external) objectivity to surface, and possibly even resonate.
Often times, objectivity tends to highlight areas where we are putting too much of our own identities onto others, whom in many instances want to help offload our burdens as well.
While it seems a worthwhile and noble pursuit to ease one another's burdens, each of us bears responsibility to first make sure that we are aligned with our own personal values before hastily making life-altering decisions which also affect our support systems, whether or not we are ready to admit it.
Having a sense of purpose in life helps provide guidance and stability when navigating an uncertain future. Reflecting on what truly matters to us helps us align our actions with our values in a way that honors ourselves and the people who actively love us.
[IMAGE FROM ORIGINAL POST]
Embrace the Suck
Shoutout to Dr. Obordo for sparking the "embrace the suck" mantra in the thick of our doctoral studies circa 2016.
Navigating the spooky seasons of life is inherent to the human experience. Although these times can be particularly frightening, they present opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery when we allow ourselves to take time to be curious about our futures, instead of moving hastily out of fear or in an attempt to make up for lost time. You cannot miss what is meant for you. I'll go ahead and repeat that for emphasis.
You cannot miss what is meant for you.
As we prepare to step aboard the ghost train for a non-stop trip into Halloween week and the hurried holiday haze that follows, by embracing change, one intentional act at a time, we build our resilience muscle; which in turn encourages and inspires us to seek support for our entire being (emotional, intimate, mental, physical, spiritual) in such ways that support a fulfilling existence for each one of us living a delightfully complex human experience.
Energetically sending love and ease your way. Until next time.
In solidarity,
Dr. Z